I woke up in the middle of the night last night. I got up to go to the bathroom.
Then something wonderful happened: I was standing on solid ground.
It was a sensation as tremendous as an earthquake, only it was the opposite. I stood up, and for the first time in years, I felt like I was connected to the floor and vertically positioned.
For as long as I can remember, whenever I stood up or walked, it seemed like a temporary position, enabling me to sit or lie down somewhere else. Standing was unstable.
This morning when I first got up, it happened again. I could feel that standing was a stable position. Walking was a stable activity. I was connected to the ground through my feet. I wasn’t going to tip over or rush to be rested again.
Then the feeling went away. It was fleeting, lasting less than a few minutes. Now, walking feels normal, barely noticeable.
I suppose that was what walking was like before Lyme took over my life. I guess that’s the point. I rarely thought about it…and only when I was very tired.
What amazes me is that I didn’t know it was missing, this feeling of vertical stability, until it returned for a brief moment, only to fade into the background of things I can take for granted.
Categories: healing process
Tags: bartonella, lyme
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