I had quite a week last week. I was busy at the beginning of the week, with errands and other planned activities. Then a few stressful, unexpected, time consuming things happened that I needed to deal with. Over the weekend, I found myself feeling agitated, stuck, listless and exhausted, both physically and emotionally.
It got me to think about what I mean by becoming healthy again. In some sense, it isn’t purely about being free of symptoms or infections. It is more than becoming physically strong again. It is more than wanting my various bodily systems to function the way they are supposed to. All these things are prerequisites to health, but not the defining concept.
I think that health is the ability to respond to stressors (physical, emotional, psychological, even financial) in a way that resolves the crisis (big or small) and allows the person to continue functioning well. I realize that even at my healthiest, I needed extra sleep after an emotional trauma (which usually involved lots of insomnia). I know that I’ve gotten colds and other respiratory infections when I didn’t sleep enough, got too cold running around NYC in the winter, and was stressed out about work or school. But I would get over the colds rather than having them pile on one after another until I was knocked out. (Except when I wasn’t healthy and ended up with walking pneumonia, but that is precisely the point. When I wasn’t healthy to start with, I was a target for every germ that came my way.)
What I’ve been experiencing these past few months is greater and greater resilience to stress. I’ve had more energy and greater endurance, in fits and starts, since the end of the summer. I’ve been able to try things, to be outside and be active. I’ve pushed my own limits. I could see that I was reaching a point where the Lyme was dormant, the Babesia was dormant, and the Bartonella was getting weaker. I could see that my body was starting to belong to me again.
But that wasn’t enough. I want the infections gone because life is full of stresses. Whether it’s an emotional upset, a flu, overdoing a workout, getting a mild case of food poisoning or any of life’s little curve balls, I want to be able to respond and not end up debilitated with multiple raging infections again.
This is yet another reason I’m repeatedly triggering the infections. If I keep triggering them, I expect to be able to get rid of the stores of dormant bacteria and cease being threatened that they will return. I’m also learning that even though I’ve been feeling physically better, I can expect to feel much better that I do already.
I spoke to a woman this weekend who said she had cured herself of Lyme: No symptoms for three years. As long as we talked directly about the treatments she used (antibiotics, supplements and diet), she was insistent. But when she told me how her life was going, she sounded sick the way I was sick before I knew I was. She never got back to the energy and concentration she had before she got infected. She was frazzled. She has eye problems that sound to me like what many people with Bartonella have described to me, and that I experienced back when Bartonella was my only infection. To me she sounded like she settled on being “done” with Lyme when the headaches and joint aches and overwhelming fatigue were gone. She wanted to be done so she was, even though there are lingering symptoms. I can’t argue with her about her decisions. I can say only that half-way is not enough for me.
I want to be healthy again. I want to have enough reserves to deal with small and large stressors without having a meltdown (physical and emotional) in response to every little thing. I want to be able to miss one night’s sleep without being thrown off for a week. I want to get beyond the limitations imposed by these infections, then go one step further, to become the person I remember being, a resilient woman who could handle any challenge I faced.
The Second Eggs-periment
Last week I had another cookie containing eggs. Once again, I kept track, hour by hour of what happened. Overall, it wasn’t as bad as the first egg experiment, partly because I knew what to expect, and partly because I did it at night and slept through many of the symptoms.
This is what happened.
- 5:50pm – eat a peanutbutter cookie
- 6:00pm – changes in vision in my right eye, blurriness in the outer periphery of my field of vision, continues for over an hour
- 6:15pm – pain in left eyeball, headache on right side of head
- 6:30pm – pain on right side of head continues, pain in back of head, pain in right shoulder
- 6:45pm – pain in back of head gone; pain in right eye and surrounding area of face and head, pain in left wrist, pain in right shoulder disappears, left rib pain (associated with the wheat in the cookie)
- 7:35pm – pain in right side of head continues, right eye vision disturbance partially resolved, left quadriceps pain, dull pain on entire right side of body, sharp pain down outside of right leg, feeling cold all over
- 9:40pm – coiled for Lyme on my central nervous system, back of my head for Bartonella, blood stream for Babesia
- 10:30pm – vision disturbance is gone, dull pain on the right side of my body continues – including headache, pain in left eye returned, headache on left side above the ear to the top of my head, still feel very cold
- overnight – no sweats or insomnia, woke at 8am feeling chest congestion but otherwise not bad
- next day – nausea after eating breakfast, joint aches during the day, heart palpitations, felt cold. did a full body coiling session for Lyme and additional coiling for Bartonella and Babesia
My impression since the second dose of eggs is that I feel more Lyme-y. My hard won resilience is waning. I’m more achy. My ribs hurt more after eating wheat. I have random aches and pains. I’m more tired. I’m slower. I feel stress more deeply. I have night sweats most nights. My intestines are irritated and vacillating between constipation and urgent movements, with recurrent background of abdominal pain.
I recognize that this could also come from the winter flare, though that shouldn’t start until this upcoming weekend. My gut feeling is that although I feel more symptoms, I’m actually waking up the infection, getting it more active, and living with the consequences. This isn’t a bad thing, even though it sucks to live through it.
Coiling for three infections
Back when I started coiling, almost three years ago, I was working on four infections at the same time: Lyme, Bartonella, Babesia, and Candida. I finished Candida a while back. But the other three still haunt me. During the year that I got rid of Candida, I was trying to keep Bartonella and Babesia from getting worse, without actively trying to get rid of them. What I was doing for Babesia turned out to be effective in whittling it away, so I ended up coiling enough to get rid of the active infection. But during that time, I coiled only a little for Bartonella, maybe 7 minutes a day.
That left two infections to deal with. Really, one is enough, and two is a full dance card. I coiled every day for Bartonella, covering my whole body, and learning through careful observation, where to focus my coiling time. I was coiling up to 40 minutes three times a day, most days. Then I coiled a little less on days when I also coiled for Lyme.
It is impossible to coil as much as I used to for Babesia, the amount that got rid of all the active infection (over 1 hour per day in three sessions), and also coil as much as I had been for Bartonella. Then on top of that, coil extra for Lyme every 4-6 days.
I’ve come up with a modified coiling protocol to get me through the series of triggers I’m planning. This will continue to knock down all three infections, but I’ll probably focus on one at a time at some point, to get to the end point for each.
- chest (heart & lungs) – 10 minutes
- liver – 10 minutes
- spleen – 10 minutes
Goals: fully irradiate my blood supply three times per day, plus irradiate the key organs once each per day.
This is a daily protocol, to be done completely, even on days when I’m also coiling for Lyme.
Morning (total=30 minutes)
- back of head – 10 minutes
- each side of head – 5 minutes per
- liver – 5 minutes
- spleen – 5 minutes
Afternoon (total=28 minutes)
- back of head – 10 minutes
- upper and middle spine – 5 minutes each
- sacrum – 8 minutes
Night (total=28 minutes)
- back of head – 10 minutes
- top of head – 8 minutes
- chest – 5 minutes
- abdomen – 5 minutes
Goals: Irradiate back of head 3 times per day because this has been the most effective source of herxes and reductions in symptoms, irradiate blood supply twice per day, irradiate entire central nervous system, and irradiate intestines.
This protocol is modified on days when I coil for Lyme. On those days, I only coil the back of my head three times. If I have more time that day, I add an area of high blood flow to irradiate my blood supply.
This is the same protocol I’ve been using for sometime. I break it up into parts during Lyme days to do as much as I can in each sitting until the coil gets too hot. I mix up each session to also include the necessary time for Bartonella and Babesia.
Unfortunately, I’m going to feel bad for the foreseeable future while I trigger and coil, flare and herx. It won’t be the totally debilitating illness it once was (at least I hope it won’t!), but I’m mentally preparing myself to feel crappy for the next six weeks, then take it from there.