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A Perfect Day

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Weekend Report

I had a wonderful time this weekend. The retreats I go to are with a few (non-religious) groups that I’ve known for about a decade. This particular group is very affectionate with me. I got tons of hugs. Several people complimented me on how well I’m doing physically. Many of them knew me before I got taken down by Lyme and have watched both the descent and now my climb back to life.

I feel very recharged from the time I got to spend with this group. It made all the physical discomforts seem insignificant when I realize how significant these relationships are to me.

It’s nice to be able to like people openly and for them reflect the same back to me.

A Perfect Day

Monday was a perfect day. These kinds of days come about and sustain me, sometimes for years, knowing that it is possible to be connected, have fun, try things that are a bit of a stretch, and live without struggle for an entire day.

The last time I had such a day was in summer 2004 on a whole-day date with someone who I only went out with a few times. We played soccer with my friends in the morning, had lunch, went to a park to lie in the grass for a few hours, had a very yummy Thai dinner, then watched a movie at his house. I remember, just before I left, leaning over this fellow lying on the couch, with my long, curly, dark hair draping over his face, and looking into his eyes, searching for approval. He said, “You should let your hair be wild, Rosie, just like you are inside.”

Needless to say, I’ve had my share of days since then that were the opposite of perfect. I think I’ve been due for a perfect day for quite a while.

I wasn’t really expecting anything so memorable yesterday.

A friend who was at the retreat and who lives on the West Coast stayed in NYC for a business lunch in Coney Island on Monday. Since I was up to it, I decided to accept his invitation to join him at the lunch meeting. (It happened to be about a topic with which I’m very familiar from prior to having to cease work.)

We met up beforehand at my apartment to think through what his goals were for the meeting and to figure out my role. Then he drove us down to Coney Island. I couldn’t drive after the weekend away, so I navigated. Despite excessive traffic on the BQE, we were both pretty relaxed, joking around the whole way there. Neither of us got stressed about the time. By some miracle, we got there a few minutes early.

The lunch was fun. He was interviewing a consultant whom he was considering hiring. She was my age. She grew up around NYC. We totally hit it off. My presence made the meeting more fun for all parties and created a space where they could figure out more about their common interests because the interaction kept getting more relaxed and connected. (And by the end, he decided he wants to hire her.)

I felt like a competent grown-up again. I contributed, not only to the tenor of the conversation, but to the content as well. It put me in a position to feel confident that by the time I’m sufficiently over Lyme, I’ll be able to figure out what to do for work.

After lunch, my friend and I went for a walk on the boardwalk. We sat in the shade, staring out over the beach, at people, at the water, at the boats and barges and islands in the distance. We watched some men in their early 20s use a children’s jungle gym to do pull-ups, push-ups and other competitive, pectoral-enhancing activities. My friend, who is considerably older than they are (and even than I am), kept pretending he was going to join them as soon as he finished digesting his lunch. Mostly we chatted and laughed, enjoying each other’s company in a beautiful environment.

I got us lost on the way back to the Belt Parkway. It wasn’t stressful. We had all the time in the world to mosey around and observe the neighborhood. Instead of getting tense, I put my navigatrix hat back on and got us pointed in the right direction.

While sitting in bumper to bumper traffic on the BQE, I got a hankering for lemon ices. So I took my out of town friend to the Lemon Ice King of Corona. The ices there are worth the drive. We parked on a side street and picked up lemon ices (even though they sell all sorts of flavors, lemon is the only ice in my book). The ices alone were a cup full of nirvana. We sat in the park across the street and watched some older men playing bocce. It was a perfect New York moment, “a slice of heaven,” according to my friend.

It was when we were walking back to my place that I noticed how perfect the day had been. Some friends are very easy to be around. Cooperation comes naturally. The connection is comfortable. The laughter tumbles out over and over. So when we got home, we chatted a bit more. Discussed the meeting. Made plans to say good-bye this morning. Then he went back to his hotel.

I floated to bed.

In this big, confusing, lonely world, it seems rare to have the kind of friend I spent the day with yesterday. And it’s an incalculable treasure to spend a perfect day with that kind of friend.

Thursday (Aug 4)

Coiling

  • Babesia, ilium, 1 minute each side; knees/elbows, 1 minute; chest, 10 minutes

Detox

  • skin brushing
  • kombucha
  • nap (2 hours)

Body

No night sweat. Woke after only 7 hours with pain in my major joints, knees, hips and shoulders. After moving around a bit, I was in good enough shape to head for the airport.

At the airport to Baltimore (and the retreat center), there was too much standing. I had a lot of low back pain which was made worse by the shape of the seats.

At the retreat house, I had one problem, which happened to last all weekend: every time I stepped into the building where food and meetings were, I got sharp pain in my spine and shoulders from the coldness of the air conditioning. The first day, the sharp pain lodged in my thoracic spine.

All afternoon and evening, I had light sensitivity and a headache.

At bedtime, I was in a room where I could turn off the AC and open a window. Still, the pain in my upper back kept me awake for a long time.

Friday (Aug 5)

Coiling

None

Detox

  • skin brushing

Body

No night sweat. I woke up after only 6 hours, with severe pain in my hand joints and medium level pain in my thoracic spine. My menstrual cycle started right after I woke up. That led to abdominal cramps on and off all day, and a sharp recurring pain in my sacrum.

I had Lyme-smelling urine that continued through Sunday. (For those of you who are new to the phenomenon, it smells like turkey soup.)

All day I had light sensitivity. At one point, I was getting out of a chair and I had an aura. I’ve had many of them before, but I only learned the name for them when I started reading about migraines over the past few weeks. This one looked like tiny fire crackers in my peripheral vision for about 3 or 4 seconds. Later in the evening, I had a headache in the spot on the right side of my head that hurts when I get a migraine.

The AC bothered me again. It caused sharp pain in my joints, especially my upper back and ribs. I was cold enough to wear woolen socks and two sweatshirts piled onto my tee-shirt.

By the evening, I was very tired. The cold and my period were draining me. I had a short bout of trembling and weakness in my legs before we ended the evening events.

Saturday (Aug 6)

Coiling

None

Detox

None. (I forgot to use my skin brush because I was so discombobulated from lack of sleep.)

Body

Difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep. Light night sweat (kept the same shirt all night). I had my eyes closed for less than 6 hours.

I had continued pain in my sacrum. It was sharp, but at least it wasn’t radiating down my legs. My shoulders and upper back were stiff, making lots of crepitant noises. Those symptoms lasted all day and were made worse when I was in the excessive air conditioning. When I was cold, my other joints got stiff and painful, too.

I had mild cramps, but they seemed like nothing compared to previous months.

By evening, I had my usual symptoms of being overtired: knee pain and heart palpitations. Unfortunately, even after I lay down in bed, it took forever to fall asleep. My legs hurt too much and I was wired from being overtired.

Sunday (Aug 7)

Coiling

  • Babesia, chest, 10 minutes

Detox

  • skin brushing
  • pathetic, frozen artichoke hearts

Body

Another night with less than 6 hours sleep and only a light night sweat. When I woke up, my shoulders and upper back were stiff and painful. The rest of my joints were pretty achy, too. They felt internally swollen, like there was too much pressure in the synovial fluid, but not enough to cause them to visibly bulge.

I was somewhat overtired (for obvious reasons) leading to mild nausea, stronger light sensitivity than previous days, a headache that kept coming and going, and a feeling of tired achiness in my muscles.

I carpooled home from Baltimore. The car ride was unpleasant physically (though I enjoyed the company immensely). I got carsick within the first hour. The wrist bands with acupressure points on them that I use to reduce motion sickness weren’t enough to help me when I was riding in the back seat. Meanwhile, I had one of the mixed tension-migraine headaches coming on. The light was bothering me which was why I was reluctant to sit up front. The right side of my head had intense pain. Then my scalp was tense going down into my neck. Chewing gum (which made the motion sickness worse) helped relieve some of the tension in my head, jaw and neck. It was an ugly way to experience the drive.

My intestines were somewhat irritated. I had to go to the bathroom several times all day, even though my stools weren’t loose. My abdomen felt hard from the outside, and inside I had some sharp, short-lived pains that moved around.

I was happy to be back in my own bed that night.

Monday (Aug 8 )

Coiling

  • Bartonella, chest, 2 minutes; abdomen, 5 minutes
  • Babesia, ilium, 1 minute each side; knees/elbows, 1 minute; chest, 10 minutes
  • Candida, abdomen, 10 minutes; chest, 2 minutes

Detox

  • skin brushing
  • kombucha
  • sunshine and fresh air (at the beach)

Body

I had a mild night sweat during the night. I woke up too early again. This time, my hands and feet were killing me when I woke up. Shortly thereafter, I had the old Bartonella feces. (They look like the texture of soft-serve frozen yogurt, only less appetizing, and are the color of unstained pine flooring.) I realized then that I needed to coil for Bartonella immediately, and get back on track with it.

The heat rash returned to my sternum.

As mentioned above, I had a perfect day. But I still had to deal with pain when I was walking along the boardwalk. It was easier to sit in the shade and look at the people, sand and water. Then my pain level dropped.

So what hurt when I was walking? The usual: low back pain, some pain in my hips, knees and feet. My head was too hot in the sunshine. The light was too intense. I felt a little dehydrated. The symptoms were enough to tug at my attention, but not so much that I was distracted.

Back at home, I fell asleep more easily than the previous few nights. I was out cold after all that sunshine.

Today (Aug 9)

Coiling

  • Babesia, ilium, 1 minute each side; knees/elbows, 1 minute; chest, 10 minutes
  • Candida, abdomen, 10 minutes; chest, 2 minutes

Detox

  • skin brushing
  • kombucha
  • nap (3+ hours)

Body

I woke up unnecessarily early (6:21am). Not really enough sleep. I woke up during the night with cold skin on my limbs. Somehow it didn’t occur to me to turn off the ceiling fan. So I woke up cold in the morning and wanted a warm shower.

After my shower, I was antsy. I walked over to my parents to say good-bye before they spend a week with my sister.

I was pretty wasted for most of the day. I’ve been overdoing it for too many days. I need some down time to chill out and rest. (I’ll catch up with phone calls, emails and chores later.) I need a few days in or near bed to reset my adrenals so I can sleep properly and wake properly.

Even with all this, I decided today was the day to take the constitutional homeopathic remedy. No reason to wait any longer. I took it right before a nap. The nap ended up lasting over 3 hours. When I woke up, my arms were tingling in a painful way (similar to the sensation that comes after a leg falls asleep, only my arms never fell asleep). My hands hurt enough to notice, especially my fingers as I type, but I can still do it. The other symptom that started after the remedy is pain in the muscles surrounding my central spine. It is a peculiar kind of pain, almost like the inside of the muscles itch unbearably to the point that they hurt.

I’ve got a pain just to the left of my sacrum. I was feeling around back there to determine what it was. I found a very swollen lymph node (that doesn’t match in size to the symmetrically placed one on the right side of my sacrum).

The heat rash was back again this evening.

My shoulders are making crepitations and my wrists, forearms and elbows hurt. Maybe I wrote too much (even though I’ve taken several extended breaks since I started this post).

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