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Having a life

Monday, August 15, 2011

For a few days in a row, I’ve pretended to be something other than disabled by Lyme disease. In a certain way, this is exactly what I was hoping to do with my summer. I was with people. Saturday, I went to a party. Sunday, I went to a stranger’s wedding so I could spend the day with one of my friends whom I love most in the world. Today I went to a yoga class, then I spent some time with a group of friends.

I rested when I could. I pushed a little too hard. Tomorrow, I’ll be in bed for a while, probably on the phone with a few people I’ve been meaning to talk to (but not everyone I’d like to catch up with).

The problem is that I can’t keep up with my body at this pace. I’m not resting enough. I’m not coiling enough. I’m not detoxing enough.  There’s a balance to strike, and for a few days, I let myself swing in a different direction.

I think that’s the theme this summer. Do as much as I can to be alive and myself and out in the world. Don’t worry too much if a few things slide. Make it up on the down days (like last Tuesday, Thursday and Friday) as best I can. Eventually, I’ll get to everything I want to do at home. But for now, for a few days at a time, it’s nice to have a life.

Sunday

Coiling

  • Babesia, liver, 10 minutes

Detox

  • skin brushing
  • dancing (exercise, 2 x 10 minutes)
  • lemon ice (doesn’t really count because it had sugar in it, but I’m searching…)

Body

I slept for 9 hours last night! How much better do I feel? I had a huge night sweat. The new cat woke me up twice to comfort him in his new surroundings. I woke up for real after 7 hours, but was relaxed enough to go back to sleep.

The rain is bothering my joints. Higher pain level than yesterday. Woke up with a headache (back of right side of my head) and very loose stools.

Over the course of the day, I was able to handle the driving and the activity level. I had some pretty severe back pain for about an hour, and moderate back and hip pain whenever I stood for too long.

I was exhausted, overtired and wired last night when I got home. It took 3 hours for me to wind down.

Today

Coiling

I’m playing around with the Babesia sessions. I’ve settled on 5 minutes on chest and 5 minutes on my liver, like I used to do. I still think it’s more effective to do 10 minutes on the chest (heart, lungs, rib cage), but I’m trying to be gentle with my heart.

  • Bartonella, chest, 2 minutes; abdomen, 5 minutes
  • Babesia, ilium, 1 minute each side; knees/elbows, 1 minute; liver, 5 minutes; chest, 5 minutes
  • Candida, abdomen, 10 minutes; chest, 2 minutes

Detox

Yoga today was pretty interesting. My hip joints were a mess from the little dancing I did yesterday. (I guess that says something about the way I dance…) I couldn’t do lunges without my hip joints giving out.

On the other hand, I have way more strength in my arms than I used to. I can do chaturanga (the down direction of movement for a yoga push-up) smoothly to an inch above the floor without collapsing. In the 5 years I did yoga before Lyme time, I was never able to do that.

  • skin brushing
  • yoga (with tons of sweating)

Despite  my inattention for proper detox, I did manage to eat a huge bowl of perfectly cooked zucchini. They were crunchy, tender and not slimy. I’m pretending that that will suffice for one day.

Body

Another big night sweat last night. I was asleep for just about 8 hours. It’s getting easier to sleep as the weather cools off (even if it is the ultra-humid rainy weather that dumped 8″ of water on NYC yesterday and makes my bones ache).

I had a moderate headache on and off today. I spent most of the morning in bed. My back was hurting quite a bit, mostly my lower back muscles, below that my sacrum and tailbone, and for a while, a radiating pain out of the right side of my sacrum. My hand joints were bothering me and I’ve been joint achy all over.

Yoga class made my back feel better but gave me a 40 minute severe headache that seemed a bit in the migraine category (eye pain preceded the headache and light made it worse).

I tried to do things after yoga, but I needed to rest for quite a while. With whatever energy I had, I straightened out the kitchen and cooked. Then I rested and went to hang out on a friend’s couch. There’s only so much I can handle.

Tonight, I have a blanket of muscle pain across my upper back, between my shoulders.

I’m having Lyme detox smells tonight: urine and sweat. What a treat. On the subject of urine, mine has been hesitating all day for the past two days. And to keep down that path, I’ve had way too much stool for the amount of food I’ve been consuming.

The hot itchy rash on my sternum has returned.

I’m hoping I’ll be able to fall asleep at a reasonable hour tonight.

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