While I was in Hawaii, I ate a lot of foods that are decidedly not on the diet that keeps my symptoms at bay. Several nights, I was lamenting the fact that foods which cause a reaction in my body, be it an allergy, a sensitivity or an autoimmune trigger, still taste delicious.
While I was there, I ate quite a bit of rice (just before the news came out about high levels of arsenic in US-grown rice) and more than a few servings of sorbet and shave ice. I ate pineapples and mangoes, drank coconut water and consumed way too much sugar.
I gained weight. For years, while I was laid out in bed not moving, I had lost weight. When I cut out grains and sugar and many kinds of fruit, I lost even more weight. It’s only since January when I started eating oatmeal a few times a week and rice occasionally, that I gained anything back.
It’s a tricky situation. I’m back to what I considered my regular weight prior to getting sick, which is good. But I’ve gained it back pretty quickly (an extra 4 pounds in about 2 weeks) and all in one area of my body. It isn’t quite how I imagined I would gain the weight back. I had dreams of doing exercise and slowly building up my muscles. Ha! Life never works as planned.
Now that I’m dealing with Bartonella, my seasonal Lyme flare and a Babesia relapse, I’m laying off the grains and sugars. I’m still allowing myself some fruit, just not the super sweet tropical fruits. I don’t expect to lose the weight again, but I assume I’ll stop gaining.
Like all women in the US, I have a strange relationship to the number on the scale. The range of weights I consider acceptable for myself is very narrow. I enjoyed being skinny for how I looked, but I hated being cold all the time and overly sensitive to bumps and hard chairs. I feel more comfortable with a little extra weight, but I’m not used to how I look yet. Then my abdomen swelled up today and all I can think about is my size.
Being disabled doesn’t get rid of all the noise in my head about body size, but I sure wish it did.
Yesterday, I started the twice-daily full-body coiling sessions for Babesia. I did them again today.
Coiling for Babesia brings on extreme fatigue. I felt like a zombie a good portion of the day yesterday. I needed a 2 hour nap (and therefore took one). I felt a little better this morning, but I started to feel worn out by 1pm, and I’ve been dragging the rest of the day.
The Lyme flare continues with extra pain on the right side of my body and lots of popping and cracking in my various joints. I have short bouts of tingling or buzzing in my extremities. Floaters are dancing across my field of vision.
Now that I’m working on Bartonella (last coiled for it on Sunday), the swelling in my abdomen is back. It isn’t the size of a six-month pregnancy, but it’s climbing. I assume that the big belly is going to be around for a while. Preceding the abdominal swelling was some pretty severe burning pain in my lower abdomen. I think it’s from the Bartonella herx and the slow bowels, but I’m not sure. It’s in that area where it could be intestines, bladder or reproductive organs. I’m hoping it’s intestines. It went away after two days, but if it returns, I’ll have to decide if it needs outside medical attention. Mood-wise I’m okay today. But after a 16-hour respite, the pain in my kidneys and back has returned.
I’m having headaches that last the whole day (both days) but the severity and location changes over the course of the day. I have eye pain and ear pain.
In some ways this feels as yucky as last year. But then again, it might be less than what I’ve dealt with before.