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Melancholia

Sunday, February 6, 2011

As I look at my posts after I write them, they show me how sad I feel. Today I’m more acutely aware of it than usual. After holding my own for 4 years of this illness, it’s finally wearing on me. The fact that I’m feeling losses in other areas of my life brings the melancholy feelings into focus. I did my best to fight it off by reaching out to a few friends whom I haven’t spoken to in a while. I reached a friend in Ohio who cheered me up for a while.

I did a 5 minute coiling session on the Candida frequency. I still have a headache in my eyes and an earache in my right ear since I did the Lyme coiling session. I didn’t sleep too well last night, getting up several times and having disturbing dreams. I went back and forth about whether to coil far Lyme again tonight (the last time was on Friday). I’m thinking that every 3rd day is probably enough for now.

Meanwhile, a factor in my decision not to coil today is that I’m collecting a 24-hour urine sample to try to figure out what’s causing the kidney stones. I didn’t want to dump lots of extra Lyme-generated neurotoxins into the mix that weren’t there during the stone drama.

Side note on the 24 hour collection process. The equipment was so obviously designed for men. I have a 3.8 liter jug with a narrow opening to urinate into for a day. There are explicit directions about not collecting the samples in other containers and transferring them (due to contamination concerns). It has been a comical-in-retrospect experience each time I have to pee–to try to get it into the container while leaning over the tub to catch any misdirected spray, unable to see what I’m doing…How frustrating! Yet, when I’m done, I find myself laughing at the absurdity of activities we engage in in contemporary, Western, medical culture.

Tomorrow I’m going to try a gentle yoga class to get my blood flowing and support my detox process. Today I went for a walk and had another cup of kombucha tea. Other than that, I’m only using water to clean my system today. I know I’ll have to add more detoxification support, but this is all I can handle right now.

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One comment

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