I’m going to the U2 concert tonight. I went to one in September 2009. It was amazing. The music was incredible. U2 is meant to be a live performance band.
It was important to me for other reasons. I was going out and doing something fun. I didn’t get to do that very often back then. I was still somewhat unstable on my feet and using a cane. I called the stadium and found out how to get access to the handicapped section. It was empowering to figure out how to be in a big public place. I got a ride from the entrance to my seats. I figured out how to access the ADA accommodations that were put in place for people like me.
Before I got sick, I was an activist. I was involved in the campaign to make AIDS drugs available in Africa and other third world countries at cost, rather than at inflated pharmaceutical company prices. At the concert, there was a video of Bishop Desmond Tutu thanking all the people in the US who participated in some way and asking us not to forget that the fight for dignity for people in Africa in this age of global capitalism is not over.
I sobbed. I had been out of work for two and a half years. I felt like I was no longer making any contribution to the world. I was moved by the video, just for what it was, but then I realized that something I did made a difference. Now was (still is) my time to accept help. But what I did before I got sick was part of a global movement that made a difference in the lives of millions of people. That realization undermined the feeling of being insignificant. I’ve carried it with me as I figure out how to heal from Lyme disease and promised myself that I could take as much time as I need to recover. My story isn’t over yet. And the previous chapters include much to be proud of.
We’ll see what happens at tonight’s U2 concert. Maybe another miracle in my mind. Or maybe it will enough to have an enjoyable musical experience.
I’m falling off on the Bartonella treatment. I’m so messed up by the heart stuff that I’m just not keeping track well enough or giving myself time to space the treatments out over the course of the day.
- Babesia, chest, 10 minutes
- Candida, chest, 2 minutes; abdomen, 10 minutes
- homeopathic support
- lemon water
- skin brushing
Before I went to bed last night, my ovaries hurt. Maybe I’m ovulating?
I had very wet night sweats last night. Full body drenchers. I ditched my pjs because I was so soaked. I woke up with more sweats over the course of the night and again in the morning. During the night, each time I woke, my sternum was super itchy. In my sleep induced stupor, I scratched it through a sheet. That made it burn like hell.
Today, I’m still having heart troubles. My aim is to rest in bed for two hours before I head to the concert, and to drink things that make my heart happy (magnesium and other electrolytes, salt).
I’m still achy in all my joints…and my upper body muscles are tense from using the computer yesterday. I still have that damn itch. I have floaters in my vision and my blood pressure feels low. I’m even a bit light headed.
Let’s hope for the best for the concert tonight.