h1

Compassion

Thursday, October 27, 2011

On Monday I had my first Reiki session. I’ve been thinking about it for quite a while, ever since I met up with my former roommate from graduate school a few years ago. She thought it would be a good way to replenish my depleted energy.

Reiki is, at least conceptually, a way to channel universal energy into a human being for the purposes of healing. There is no western medical explanation for how it works or whether it achieves any results beyond psychosomatic improvements. But I’m game to try anything that isn’t harmful, is affordable, and has the possibility of supporting my healing process.

I asked my yoga teacher who has a level 1 reiki certification to give me a treatment. Actually I asked him about reiki and he offered to give me a session. He came to my house. I lay flat on my daybed, and he performed a series of movements over my body, either barely touching me, or not touching me at all. He had soothing music playing in the background. I had my eyes closed for most of the session. At one point, near the beginning, my right leg started to hurt very intensely. So I opened my eyes to see what he was doing. He had his hands over my heart.

For the most part, I found myself in a semi-meditative state. I didn’t try to control or prevent my thinking. I let thoughts, scenarios, images and feelings come and go. The content of the images changed as he moved down my chakras. I asked him to spend a little extra time on my kidneys since they were bothering me during the yoga class we had just finished.

I turned over and he performed another series of motions, all designed to channel energy into my body, on my back. This time, I relaxed and fell into a light sleep. Time flew.

Afterwards we talked for a while. I told him what things I saw, when I felt pain, when I felt more relaxed. He said that at certain points, he could see different parts of my body soften, the muscles relaxing or releasing tension, as I sank further into the daybed. His impression was that there was a lot of compassion-energy when he worked on my ankles and on my thoracic spine. He found gratitude in my perpetually painful sacrum.

I thought on this all week. Compassion. I think I have compassion for the people I know, the ones I read about, the ones I care about. I’m not very judgmental, forgiving even, of the mistakes and foolish choices that people make (sometimes even towards myself).

I decided to take it easy on myself all week.

On Monday, between yoga and reiki, I was done for the day. My body was profoundly exhausted, both on a physical level and in a way that made me feel like something was reorganizing in my psyche or spirit. I decided to not do anything else the rest of the day, except to rest and eat. I even skipped out on most of my coiling routine.

On Tuesday, I had newfound attention to do a short editing and layout project with a friend. But when I finished, I couldn’t use the computer anymore for the day. I was still pretty tired. I decided to stay in the house and take it easy on myself.

On Wednesday, I was moving in slow motion, but got a little housework done. When I sat down to catch up on the blog, I discovered an art project with a deadline that I’d failed to complete earlier. I ended up using whatever attention and physical ability for computer work I had for the day on the art project. Someone is going to receive something beautiful in the mail next week.

Today I was trashed. I woke up with severe pain. Most of the day I’ve been struggling with pain in my hands and feet, forearms and legs, up to mid-thigh, at a level between 6 and 8 on a scale of 10. So I cancelled my activities for today and tomorrow to let myself rest. And I found I had the attention to look at my novel, the one I claim to be writing but haven’t touched since February. I reread the last part I’ve written so I can start again in the next few days.

I’m trying to find my flow. I’ve noticed that I’ve been very outward focused this year. The result is that the main project I’m doing for myself is on hold. I’m rededicating myself to taking care of me body and soul. My health is still my top priority, but my dreams and goals are back in the forefront of my mind.

Monday (Oct 24)

Coiling

Too much energy floating around to deal with all the electromagnetic fields, which I discovered after one coiling treatment. That meant that I started the weekly Lyme protocol one day late.

  • Candida, chest, 2 minutes; abdomen, 10 minutes

Detox

  • skin brushing
  • kombucha
  • juiced greens
  • yoga
  • reiki
  • biomat
  • diatomaceous earth

Body

I felt like I was having a Herx from the Lyme coiling the previous week. I had a headache and sleeplessness. I had light sensitivity. I had pretty severe pain in my right hip and going down my right leg all morning. After yoga & reiki, I was completely knocked out for the rest of the day.

Tuesday (Oct 25)

Coiling

This is where I veered off course. I increased the time on my head for Babesia. That would be okay by itself. Then I decided to coil my spine for Bartonella. Last time I coiled my head or back for Bartonella, I had a really bad response to my next menstrual cycle, with all sorts of problems in my vagus nerve. Bad idea. I think the pain today, Thursday, might be the result of this treatment.

  • Candida, chest, 2 minutes; abdomen, 10 minutes
  • Babesia, shoulders, 30 seconds each; shoulder blades, 30 seconds each; ilium, 1 minute each side; lower/central/upper back, 1 minute each; knees & elbows, 1 minute; feet, 1 minute; liver, 5 minutes; chest 5 minutes; back of head, 1 minute; crown of head, 30 seconds
  • Bartonella, abdomen, 5 minutes; chest, 2 minutes; sacrum 30 seconds
  • Lyme, top/bottom of feet, 3 minutes each; shins/calves, 3 minutes each; front/back of thighs, 3 minutes each; knees, 3 minutes; sacrum, 2 minutes

Detox

  • skin brushing
  • kombucha
  • biomat
  • nap
  • rest
  • diatomaceous earth

Body

I was tired all day, but I had focus. I was able to do some computer work. But I overdid it in way too short a time and had to contend with pain in my elbows, wrists and fingers the rest of the night and Wednesday morning. I also had a fair amount of pain in my right hip, continuing from Monday, and pain in the region of my back between my shoulder blades.

Wednesday (Oct 26)

Coiling

I woke up again extremely tired which told me I need to increase the Babesia treatments. This is complicated. I should really be doing full body scans every 12 hours. But I need to let the coil cool between treatments. So I started a half-way approach. I’m doing 10 minutes on my liver in the morning because the coil doesn’t get too hot during the candida treatment, then doing a full body scan in the evening.

  • Candida, chest, 2 minutes; abdomen, 10 minutes
  • Babesia, liver, 10 minutes
  • Babesia, shoulders, 30 seconds each; shoulder blades, 30 seconds each; ilium, 1 minute each side; lower/central/upper back, 1 minute each; knees & elbows, 1 minute; feet, 1 minute; chest, 10 minutes; back of head, 1 minute; crown of head,1 minute
  • Lyme, ilium front, 3 minutes each side; ilium back, 3 minutes each side; hips/outer thighs, 3 minutes each side; sacrum, 2 minutes

Detox

  • skin brushing
  • kombucha
  • biomat
  • diatomaceous earth

Body

I had a slow morning, but I had some energy once the afternoon came around. I did a little cleaning in my kitchen. I did an art project on the computer, once the pain in my hands subsided.

I took a B-12 shot at noon. I was wired last night and couldn’t fall asleep, despite physical fatigue, until close to midnight.

I noticed that my urine was clear when I woke up in the morning. I have high hopes that my body will eradicate the fungal infections without further interference from me as my immune system readjusts post-florinef. One homeopathic principle states that we heal from the inside out, and another that we re-experience symptoms as our bodies heal. So even as my urine cleared, my skin infections have been more itchy. Hopefully this means the fight is on.

Thursday (today)

Coiling

  • Candida, chest, 2 minutes; abdomen, 10 minutes
  • Babesia, liver, 10 minutes
  • Babesia, shoulders, 30 seconds each; shoulder blades, 30 seconds each; ilium, 1 minute each side; lower/central/upper back, 1 minute each; knees & elbows, 1 minute; feet, 1 minute; chest, 10 minutes; back of head, 1 minute; crown of head,1 minute
  • Bartonella, abdomen, 10 minutes; chest, 2 minutes
  • Lyme, front of shoulders, 2 minutes each; back of shoulders, 2 minutes each; sides of ribs & under arms, 2 minutes each; chest and forearms, 3 minutes; sacrum, 2 minutes

Detox

I changed from 2 packets of 3LAC to one packet of 5LAC. It was based on a gut feeling that I’m ready for it again. I’ve also temporarily given up on the grapefruit seed extract. I wasn’t using it regularly, and until I’m committed, I think I should stop.

  • kombucha
  • juiced greens
  • biomat
  • nap
  • rest
  • diatomaceous earth

Body

I slept a lot. I woke up after 7.5 hours, then 2 hours later, I took a 2 hour nap. I’ve been lying on the biomat for hours at a time resting, then coiling and eating in between. My big activity for the day is writing this post.

My pain level was really high all day. My hands and arms, my feet and legs, my hips, my ilium, my upper spine into my neck and the bones in my head, my shoulders.

I think this pain is a herx, either from Lyme or from the Bartonella treatment on my spine. Since I’m afraid it’s the latter, I’m terrified of what happens when I’m through the Lyme season and I start working on Bartonella…

I also started getting abdominal cramps, mild to moderate, for parts of the day. Now I’m worried that I triggered something with the Bartonella treatment and my menstrual cycle will be bad. It should arrive between Sunday and Wednesday. I put the acupressure stickers on the shen men points in my ears today. I forgot to do it earlier in the month. Oops.

Disclaimer

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: