Wasted Summer Days

Monday, July 18, 2011

I swore up and down that summer is my best season. Last summer was pretty good. The summer before that was better than the spring. This summer started out well, but I’m struggling already.

This is my fourth day in bed since last Monday. Today, the problem is my heart. I’ve had chest pain all day. When I stand, I feel like I can’t catch my breath. When I lie down, I can breathe, but I still have the heaviness and pain.

I pulled out the stethoscope I purchased a long time ago to monitor the sound of my heart. I have a tricuspid valve prolapse (not the more popular mitral valve prolapse). It has a very recognizable sound…as in on several occasions, doctors have called in their colleagues to listen to it because it’s more obvious than anything they heard before. Anyway, I’ve listened to the strange and sometimes irregular beat on days when I was feeling okay to compare to days when I felt crappy. The extra sound is more prominent on days like today. It’s definitely louder than it was last time I listened.

Some days when I’m stuck in bed, I can’t stop thinking of all the stuff I’d rather be doing. Today, I couldn’t think of anything I wanted to do (other than see a friend who’s in town with her infant son). I just needed to rest. I cancelled my plans: the visit with my friend, my yoga class. I hate how exhausting it is to deal with heart stuff.


  • Babesia, chest, 10 minutes
  • Candida, chest, 2 minutes; abdomen, 10 minutes


  • rest
  • homeopathic support (including something for my heart)
  • juiced greens


My heart bothered me from the time I woke up. I kept trying to convince myself to get up and shower and start the day. It never happened. I thought I would shower after resting a bit, then head to yoga. Then I revised it to yoga class (in 90+ deg F weather) and a shower afterwards. Time for yoga class passed, so I thought, shower and visit with friend in Manhattan. Then postponed meeting with friend to later in the day to rest for a while longer. Then cancelled visit to stay in bed.

I feel pretty bad today.

The Lyme Herx seems to be playing out, in my heart and elsewhere. In addition to heart stuff, my joints are very achy. Just like yesterday. My head hurts with ear and eye pain and floaters. I don’t have much of an appetite. I had loose stools this morning. I’m itchy all over, not just on my sternum. I’m sad and grumpy. This is not what I wanted for my life.


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